Something about relationship

As a single male, I find myself consciously and unconsciously thinking about and searching for that special someone. My goal has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, and then being married.

This goal may seem far-fetched and I admit it is, so I’m open to altering it. I know what I want in a future spouse (I think) and I definitely know what I don’t want. But the older I get, the more I realize that the challenge to find someone who fits what I want and what I don’t want seems like “mission: impossible.” My impatience steps in which seems to prolong my wait to meet this future wife of mine.

Occasionally, I reflect on the thought that she is out there somewhere so I wonder what she is doing at that very moment and if she is thinking of me. As much as I am actively trying to find someone, I’m reminded by my friends how they found their special someone when they were least expecting to. I have to remind myself and know that God will introduce me to her and reveal who she is when we are both ready.

So does that mean I’m not ready? I think I am, but at times I have my doubts. Maybe she isn’t ready, which could mean that she is doing something to better herself for our relationship. I’ll always go back to the question of if I’m ready or not. How will I know? I believe the answer lies in how I respond to the following questions:

I ask myself if I’m financially ready. I graduated college a couple of years ago. Needless to say, my checkbook is nowhere near where I want it to be, I won’t even mention credit cards. So I need to think more about saving for my future, buying a house, and paying off some bills. After all, I don’t want to drag her into my debt and spending habits. I know that I need to better myself in regards to finances.

I ask myself, am I happy as an individual? A relationship can bring happiness and fill the void of being alone, but should I put that burden on my future wife? If you are comfortable being yourself, being happy alone and don’t need someone, that is a step in the right direction. I believe that needing someone to fill a void and wanting someone to fill a void are two entirely different things. This is why your relationships begin with you. After all, if you don’t love yourself, then how do you expect someone else to?

When you fulfill the above aspects of your life to an acceptable extent – then watch out, your future spouse may just be at the local bookstore, in the gym, at church, at work, at school, or at the bank. I don’t expect to be able to accomplish each of these things in the next four years, but I will always strive to do so. After all, I hope she will always strive to do the same. And most of all, I hope we will continue to strive to do these things together!

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