How Men Expressing Themselves?

When dealing with issues within the marriage, I have found that some of us tend to over-react and go on and on and not really get to the point of what’s bothering us. When there is a problem that needs discussed, we may bring up past issues, instead of the issue at hand because we feel resentful. It’s hard for anyone to understand this kind of behavior and it feels like we are being nagged at instead of talked to. This is why some of us avoid issues and confrontations or walk away when the heat kicks up. No one wants to be nagged at or put down. Lack of proper communication never solves the problem. More resentment builds up and walking away and ignoring the issue sounds better and better. But we don’t want this. That is why we need to learn to react in beneficial ways when our spouse upsets us.

When expressing themselves, men have a tendency to shorten things too much and think their wives can read their minds, which of course, isn’t true. Men, if you’re talking to your wives about something, it helps to explain in detail what it is you need her to do. Women like and need more detail. Specify who, what, when, and where and she’ll be happy.

Good talkers are usually good listeners. And good listeners will speak what they mean. They explain things in such a way that the other person understands exactly what it is they are trying to convey. Expressing thoughts and feelings can be hard to do. Especially when we aren’t sure what those thoughts are. We should strive to know what it is we want ourselves before saying something that could invariably bring on distorted thinking and hearing.

Sometimes we hear only what we want to hear and miss out on much of what was really said. We do this in the hopes that we can scamper away from reality so we won’t feel the hurt or pain from what we just heard. Or we actually hear what was said, but forget we ever heard it. This happens subconsciously because we don’t want to accept what the other person is saying and this is where severe communication breakdown in marriage can arise.

The best thing we can do if we do disagree with someone is first try and understand the other persons feelings by validating their opinion if we can, and then state how we feel. Complainers, naggers and disagreeable people have a difficult time listening to what others have to say and usually aren’t good at expressing themselves either.

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