Are You Ready For A Commitment?

We have come along way now. It is time for him/her to commit to our relationship. Why its not being done is a surprise for me. How long shall we continue like this now? I have said that I want to marry, but I am not getting any firm commitment from him/her. I am worried about the future now.

Not ready to commit. Why? Everything looks smooth. The relationship is old and going strong. There is no one else on the scene except these two and one of the partners is not ready to commit. Why- is it fear or apprehension? There can be many reasons. For example if you probe the mind, the reasons may come out as - I am not sure about how I will stay committed to one person all my life? I will lose my freedom. Or, I am not sure whether I will make a good marriage partner? I am not ready to take what marriage will bring. What if the marriage turns out bad, like so many I have seen. No I am afraid of the whole thing. And I want to wait for some more time.

With some people such reasons never end. They will never commit. Ultimately the relationship comes to a nowhere and slowly begins going downhill. What can be done? If you guess that your partner has got some reasons for not committing, the best option is to have a open talk. Have a dialogue. Find out about all possible reasons and argue them out. Talk to him/her about what improvement they want from you. Be with them and don’t make them look like a guilty party. Have a genuine two-way dialogue. Slowly, your partner may come to a state where he would not hesitate to try and leave future to destiny.

Discussions always help when commitment is not getting made. Being together is very important. Don’t leave the partner alone in the tension. Share what goes on in his/her mind and show genuine concern.

It’s not uncommon for singles to fear that committing to be a life-long relationship challenges the safety and comfort they perceive as benefits of being single. Remaining single does have its advantages. You can come and go as you please, leave your dirty clothes or dirty dishes alone for as long as you want, and spend your time and money independently. And, you can choose to reveal to the world whatever parts of yourself you want to reveal, and keep your weaknesses and vulnerabilities hidden.

Popularity: 29% [?]

Commitment

Have you ever been in a relationship where you’ve spent lots of time together, you’ve talked to each other several times a day, you’ve shared your secrets and inner most thoughts, you’ve spent many nights together, and you were sure he was “the one.” Then suddenly he refers to what you think of as a “relationship” as a “friendship.” You then realize that what the two of you have has not been solidified. You may have never had “the discussion.” You know what I mean, the one where he says he only wants to be with you and you say you only want to be with him, and from there the two go away with understanding that you are in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

Because you have not had “the discussion,” you find yourself faced with a dilemma. Do you continue things the way they are, talk to him about the future of this “friendship”, or leave him behind and start the search again? The choice is yours. However, to protect yourself you need to make it clear to him and yourself that you are not going to be committed to a non-commitment. Assuming a commitment is what you want.
Whether you leave the “friendship” completely or continue with things the way they are, don’t be ashamed to tell him that you thought it was a relationship. Since the two of you were behaving as individuals in relationships do, it is natural that you would make that assumption. If he wants things to continue they way the have been, and you still want to see him, see other men too. Don’t be afraid to tell him you plan to see him and other people until you are both ready for a relationship, and don’t feel any remorse for doing so.

I know society likes to label women who see more than one man at a time, but why allow a label to stop you from seeing what’s available in the man department. Conduct yourself as a safe adult who has the right to explore her options. Be honest and respectful of all parties involved, and have a good time. You will feel more confident, seem more desirable, and become choosy when you keep your dating options open.

Too many times we give a man the pleasures of a relationship and feel ashamed, angry, and hurt because he doesn’t want to give us the security of a commitment. Know your worth! Know that you are worthy of a commitment and that you can have one if you want one. If not with the man you thought, then with someone who has the same commitment goal you have.

Popularity: 29% [?]