So we all know cheating is not just having sex with someone. In fact, most people feel an emotional affair is even a little worse. So when is it cheating?  Is confiding in a woman other than your partner cheating? Here are some examples of what some call cheating and examples of what some think is not cheating.

Hiding female friendships

You’re a guy who has female friends who are important to you. However, you don’t necessarily want to talk about your female friends with your girlfriend because she is possessive and might tell you to break off your friendships. By keeping the friendships a secret you can have some bonding time with your female friends and ensure happy dealings with your woman.

Are you cheating? Yes.
Sorry to say, but you’re basically sneaking around behind your girlfriend’s back. Although it’s not overtly sexual, the fact is you’re still keeping things secret from her. We don’t want to sound like Dr. Phil, but that’s never healthy, because secrecy can be a form of betrayal. You might want to ask yourself what you think you have to hide if you’re hiding friendships from your girlfriend. Be open about your life — your girlfriend is a part of it, after all — and if she has her own insecurities, perhaps your secrecy is really a symptom of a bigger problem in your relationship that needs working on, such as lack of trust.

Hiding meetings with your ex

You and your ex are not romantically interested in each other anymore and sometimes meet up for drinks after work. Purely innocent, yes, but you have not told your girlfriend for the simple reason that you fear she won’t understand.

Are you cheating? Yes.
Regardless of why you have not disclosed the info to your girlfriend, you are doing something that you wouldn’t do with her knowledge. The secrecy is the problem in this scenario because it’s keeping your girlfriend in the dark so you can have your cake and eat it too — even if the cherry on the cake does not include getting to shag your ex. If you feel guilty about something or you feel the need to hide it, then it’s cheating. Period.

Activities with a female friend

You regularly go biking with your female work colleague because you both share a love of the outdoors. You and your best female friend sometimes go to dance class together. Your respective partners do not join you on your excursions.

Are you cheating? No.
Friendships are an important part of life and you can share different kinds of closeness with friends than you do with your partner. Who says your partner has to tag along with you every time you’re spending time with another woman? That’s a dark ages mentality. There’s no harm having some blameless fun with other women and sharing activities with them — as long as sex is not the shared hobby, of course.

Feeling attracted to someone else

Although you’re happily attached, you can’t help but feel attracted to your colleague or friend. Maybe you ogle her every now and then when she wears that tight dress.

Are you cheating? No.
Just because you’ve admired another woman’s looks or felt a bit of sexual attraction to her, you’re not a cheat for the simple fact that you haven’t done anything more than have a look. If this were cheating, then what about watching porn? Or having a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? Every single attraction to the opposite sex would be considered unfaithful behavior, which would be ridiculous.

A good way to know if you are crossing the line and are potentially cheating is to check your conscious. If you get a check and something does not feel right, then you need to step away from whatever you are doing and ask yourself  “if your girlfriend/boyfriend was here, would you still be doing this?”

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

Is massive mileage keeping you and your man apart? Let Love U help bridge the distance with “How To Survive and LDR.”

Being in a long distance relationship does cause some mild depression if you do not remain social. Having a relationship does not mean that you stop living your life, it only requires that you live it in a manner that speaks “I’m Taken” so that means, you need to take precautions and be vigilant that you are fostering an environment that  is healthy for your relationship. I think everyone can agree that hanging out drinking with the opposite sex could possibly cause some sticky situations.

Secondly, make sure that the communication is strong. I was in a long distance relationship for over two years and if we would not have communicated so much then it would not have lasted a couple of months. There is no doubt that long distance takes extra devotion! Be prepared to go the extra mile in communication for your special someone. Let them know you are thinking about them, send roses just because, send pictures and love notes but mostly just be extra devoted.  You are not there in person but you can always be there in their hearts and minds. Lots of communication is how you make that happen!

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

How To Tell If He Likes You, Or Just Wants A Fling ?  Listen ladies take your time and have self control, do not jump in bed with him and then expect him to commit to a real relationship.  If you want a relationship then take your time and demand a relationship. When you jump into bed to early, the relationship starts with sex instead of deep connection or love. I wish I could get every woman to stop believing that if they behave like a man then they will land a man.  This is insane, they want a woman and they know deep down that if you had any self worth you would not just jump in bed with anyone, especially if you are wanting a committed relationship.

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

Remember who you were
Don’t drop the friends, hobbies or lifestyle you had at the start of the relationship in order to fit in with your man. If he doesn’t share these, there’s no need to abandon them; if they fulfill you, keep them in your life.

Be more self-reliant
Don’t ask your man to do things you’re unsure about, whether it be changing a plug, calling room service or challenging a stroppy waiter. Bite the bullet, and even if you fall flat the first time, it will reinforce your idea of yourself, and his idea of you, as an effective and independent woman.

Project yourself as independent
When with others, make an effort to say ‘I’ instead of ‘we’. Offer your own point of view rather than letting him speak for both of you. Fix work and social arrangements without always checking back with him first.

Keep developing
Do things you find emotionally or physically challenging. Why not try bungee jumping, public speaking or even a fire walk? Building your confidence this way will reinforce the idea that you can cope even in a crisis, and that you don’t need your partner to rescue you on a daily basis.

Take breaks
It’s great to be together but 24/7 bonding creates dependence. At least twice a year, take a weekend away, either with friends or on your own, to gain a fresh view that you can share when you reunite.

Watch for deeper dependency signals
If you need constant reassurance, let him make every decision, feel your world would collapse if he left, then it’s possible that your dependency may be rooted in childhood problems. Log on to www.bacp.co.uk and find a good counsellor to help you.

Should the guy pay the bill?  Being a woman and having all the insight with women, I can tell you guys that women are always turned off by a man who does not pay the bill. A woman will never feel romanced by a guy who does not pick up the bill. I had a personal experience before with a guy who just took me for a glass of wine and then had the nerve to say something to me about him paying for it. I basically dumped him on the spot. The truth is guys, most women are raised by fathers who teach her that if a man can not pay for your dinner nor wants to then he is not worth dating. I know that if I went out with a guy who did not provide and romance me in this way my dad would never approve of him, therefore there is no hope for relationship.

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

Do men like “the chase?” Of course they do!  Ladies remember that men love competition, that is why they enjoys sports so much. Trust me, you do not one to be the one initiating the relationship. I have noticed in my dating life that the harder I was to get the more they wanted me. I even had a boyfriend, literally bring me a box of special chocolates every time he came to my work, and these were not chocolates from the local drug store either.  Guys like to know they had to prove themselves worthy of your affection. After all if you are truly special, wouldn’t you expect to be treated as so?  I know a lot of guys wont admit it but I believe men feel the best about themselves when they are in a position to act like a prince. It is not just women who like this fairy tale, boy’s from the youngest of ages like to play the hero. So ladies let him be one and then you will find your prince!

Ladies, follow these rules

1) With online dating, don’t initiate a flood of emails. Some women email multiple times a day which makes them appear demanding, needy, or high maintenance. Frequent contact can cause him to feel crowded. Initially, let men set the pace.

2) Don’t Call to Say Hi, Check in, or Discover Why He hasn’t Called. This is seen as pushy and desperate. If you don’t like the slow pace, perhaps the guy isn’t the right one for you. If you feel compelled to call when you haven’t heard from him, don’t make more than one light-hearted and friendly call. That’s it. Either he’ll pick up the ball or not, but leave that ball in his court.

3) As horrible as this old saying is, “There’s no reason to buy the cow if the milk is free.” The double-standard is still alive! While all men don’t feel this way, it’s pretty hard to know who does and who doesn’t before it’s too late. The best course of action is to hold off on intimacy to insure you’ll get the respect you want and deserve.

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

To put it plainly, I think men and women still notice attractive people even when they are in a relationship.  There is a difference however on how much time you take noticing them.  Make a effort and be respectful with the one you are dating to not look around and keep your focus on her/him.  Also this is to the guys, DO NOT GAWK at women, it makes you look pathetic!

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

What does it mean when she ask for space? In my opinion, when a girl asks for space this usually means that she has made a decision to move on but is not sure enough about that decision to make it a final break up. Basically, she needs space to see if she can be without you. It could also be that she is having a lot going on and needs to get some things together as well, but ultimately that means that it was not the right timing to get in a relationship.

Rule of thumb, if  she ask you for space then give it to her and get busy trying to get over her.

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

Here is a fun video on Red Flag Dates. Remember guys and girls, do not be a Debbie or Danny Downer! Do not talk finances on a first date. Do not date a someone with anger management issues. Do not date someone who talks bad about his/her ex.

These are just a few, if you have any other tips of Red Flags for dating, please leave a comment and let me know!

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

I was actually asked to write about interracial dating. The truth is, I have dated outside of my race and I know lots of people who have so it is not really a progressive idea anymore to me. I feel like there are plenty of interracial couples out there that it is not a big shock like it might have been like 15-20 years ago or so.

If you are going to decide to date outside of your race there are some things that you will need to be prepared for.

#1  There may be some cultural differences that you will need to give some serious thought on if you can deal with.

#2 Are you going to be able to have a proud attitude, walk with your head up and not go around with a chip on your shoulder?

#3 You will need to give thought that if you have children with someone outside your race, questions will arise about where they fit in like why is mommy white and daddy brown? Or why does my brother look white but I look brown? Basically be prepared to deal with issues of bi racial children.

Honestly, I don’t believe in color but I do see an importance on background and if the two of you will have enough in common to deal with issues together that will not divide. As with any relationship, it is important to take your time and get to know one another. Talk opening about deeper issues and the issues that will arise in your courtship. This will help the two of you in your communication and know exactly where you stand when it comes to your somewhat controversial relationship.

My biggest bit of advice is to be proud of who you are with, don’t let yourself get into a hole of self pity or go around with a chip on your shoulder. Be confident that you chose your mate and let backhanded comments slide off your back just because you know deep down that they are ridiculous and you would not even give any attention to such ignorance, it is after all below you!

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohooo