Are You Ready For A Commitment?

We have come along way now. It is time for him/her to commit to our relationship. Why its not being done is a surprise for me. How long shall we continue like this now? I have said that I want to marry, but I am not getting any firm commitment from him/her. I am worried about the future now.

Not ready to commit. Why? Everything looks smooth. The relationship is old and going strong. There is no one else on the scene except these two and one of the partners is not ready to commit. Why- is it fear or apprehension? There can be many reasons. For example if you probe the mind, the reasons may come out as – I am not sure about how I will stay committed to one person all my life? I will lose my freedom. Or, I am not sure whether I will make a good marriage partner? I am not ready to take what marriage will bring. What if the marriage turns out bad, like so many I have seen. No I am afraid of the whole thing. And I want to wait for some more time.

With some people such reasons never end. They will never commit. Ultimately the relationship comes to a nowhere and slowly begins going downhill. What can be done? If you guess that your partner has got some reasons for not committing, the best option is to have a open talk. Have a dialogue. Find out about all possible reasons and argue them out. Talk to him/her about what improvement they want from you. Be with them and don’t make them look like a guilty party. Have a genuine two-way dialogue. Slowly, your partner may come to a state where he would not hesitate to try and leave future to destiny.

Discussions always help when commitment is not getting made. Being together is very important. Don’t leave the partner alone in the tension. Share what goes on in his/her mind and show genuine concern.

It’s not uncommon for singles to fear that committing to be a life-long relationship challenges the safety and comfort they perceive as benefits of being single. Remaining single does have its advantages. You can come and go as you please, leave your dirty clothes or dirty dishes alone for as long as you want, and spend your time and money independently. And, you can choose to reveal to the world whatever parts of yourself you want to reveal, and keep your weaknesses and vulnerabilities hidden.

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