Abusive Relationship

It’s uncomfortable to see someone that you care about  struggle from the abusive friendship. What make it’s uncomfortable and frustrating because we are able to see all the things that they can’t. We’d try to help them – that might be letting them to adopt the solution that we know is right. But they don’t see it, and they’re not going to do it. They reach the point of leaving, they may well even leave… and then the whole thing goes around again, and again. Maybe the same partner, maybe a different one. But you hear the same story again and again.

In the end your emotional taking part in your mind. You end up feeling resentful towards them for what they’re putting you through. It’s painful because watching someone turn into a shadow of their former self is tragic. All the more so when there are children who are also suffering. Witnessing the pain of someone you care about and not being able to make it go away, really taxes us.

So how do we support them?

First, We can only giving them some supports but we can’t help them. What we can do is be there for them. This doesn’t mean we are available for them all the time or can listening 100% of their mind. What it does mean is simply acknowledging and respecting their right to make choices, or else stick with the situation. However disastrous it may appear from the outside, they are making the best choices they can at the time. They already feel pretty bad about themselves; your continued respect may make more of a difference than you could imagine.

Second, we must not do not care of them by ignoring and then walk away from them. Abusers create a void around their victim that leaves the victim even more dependent. It’s very easy to end up becoming irritated with the victim. When you do, you’re actually colluding with the abuser.

Third, we can keep more attention to see further who they truly are.We can hold – and remind them of- their gifts, their qualities, their uniqueness, their lovableness, until they are able to do it for themselves. Our vision may be the resource that starts them on their journey to recovery. It doesn’t even have to be a major holding operation on our part. Remember, abuse leaves its victims starving because it systematically closes down any channel of nourishment. Often, by opening up a channel we offer them more sustenance than we could possibly imagine.

Popularity: 29% [?]