Friendship With The Former Partner

Sometimes even when we know it’s time to end a romantic relationship, we’re often do not want to let her/him go. We’ve shared so much of our lives with our partner, it seems almost callous to simply cut them out of our lives— especially if we’re ending the relationship on good terms. It’s natural that we want to hold onto the loving and supportive part of the romantic relationship, and simply let go of the parts that aren’t serving us. This is entirely possible: we can remain friends with our former lovers. We both need to want to build a friendship, however.

So, shall we become friends with our former partner? If we choose to stay friends with a former romantic partner, we will have to establish new boundaries and expectations in the relationship. The old checklists are no longer appropriate, and it may take some time to make a successful transition to the new relationship. It’s best, in fact, if we do not spend any time together once we’ve officially ended the romantic relationship. A clean break is essential. We need time to separate our life from our partner’s. We need to reestablish our own boundaries and our own identity. And we need to spend a little time mourning the death of the romantic relationship. It takes time for the emotional connections to adjust, and it takes time for us to gain perspective on the entire relationship.

We must decide that we are willing to spend some time with her/him again. Once we’re ready to spend time with our partner again, we must recognize that any friendship that we build is a new relationship. It is not an extension or continuation of our romantic relationship. We will need to start slowly, and to build up a new level of trust. It will take some time to make sure we’re using the appropriate checklists. We can’t expect the same kind of support or commitment in a friendship as we did in a romantic relationship. By the same token, we may find that we could tolerate certain behavior from a lover, but that we won’t accept it from a friend. In other ways, romantic relationships are not as much demanding than friendship demanding. We look for a higher level of shared interests and compatibility with our friends than we do with our romantic partners. We may discover that our former lovers don’t make the cut as friends—and there’s nothing wrong with that. We have a much easier time letting friends drift out of our lives than we do with letting go of romantic partners.

Popularity: 33% [?]

True Friends

How can we find potential friendships? There is a lot of tendencies which include mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond in some topics similar to each other. Beyond that a genuine and mutual friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

The companionship we mentioned above become the basic in which known into relationship. Friendship needs time to each other. The most important thing to build a friendship is Trust. As human being, we all need someone with whom we can share likes and dislikes. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

A true friendship is often give a hand to find the solutions that a person needs.Every time we are in trouble we can ask for solution to the true friends and friendship only. We can’t expose our problems to others who are not having true friendship with us. But when we discuss our problem we get a solution from our friends, friends never expose our weakness and try to hide them from coming out. They give better solutions than others. We can discuss any problem with friends who are true in their friendship.

A real true friendship offers helping hands to the friends who are in trouble. As I said it is a solution for problems, true friends are also the helpers for others. Friends never let us go sink into problems. Instead friends try to rescue us from problems by helping us. With friends and friendships there will be a common bonding named helping. Friends never runaway from problems of other friends.

Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. Genuine friendship loves for love’s sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt. When we’ve offended a true friend - whether by breaking a trust or by speaking the truth with love - we risk losing that friendship. We must be careful not to break the trust. But when not speaking the truth will cause greater hurt in our friend’s life, we must be willing to sacrifice our needs for those of our friend. That is true friendship.

Popularity: 36% [?]

Abusive Relationship

It’s uncomfortable to see someone that you care about  struggle from the abusive friendship. What make it’s uncomfortable and frustrating because we are able to see all the things that they can’t. We’d try to help them – that might be letting them to adopt the solution that we know is right. But they don’t see it, and they’re not going to do it. They reach the point of leaving, they may well even leave… and then the whole thing goes around again, and again. Maybe the same partner, maybe a different one. But you hear the same story again and again.

In the end your emotional taking part in your mind. You end up feeling resentful towards them for what they’re putting you through. It’s painful because watching someone turn into a shadow of their former self is tragic. All the more so when there are children who are also suffering. Witnessing the pain of someone you care about and not being able to make it go away, really taxes us.

So how do we support them?

First, We can only giving them some supports but we can’t help them. What we can do is be there for them. This doesn’t mean we are available for them all the time or can listening 100% of their mind. What it does mean is simply acknowledging and respecting their right to make choices, or else stick with the situation. However disastrous it may appear from the outside, they are making the best choices they can at the time. They already feel pretty bad about themselves; your continued respect may make more of a difference than you could imagine.

Second, we must not do not care of them by ignoring and then walk away from them. Abusers create a void around their victim that leaves the victim even more dependent. It’s very easy to end up becoming irritated with the victim. When you do, you’re actually colluding with the abuser.

Third, we can keep more attention to see further who they truly are.We can hold – and remind them of- their gifts, their qualities, their uniqueness, their lovableness, until they are able to do it for themselves. Our vision may be the resource that starts them on their journey to recovery. It doesn’t even have to be a major holding operation on our part. Remember, abuse leaves its victims starving because it systematically closes down any channel of nourishment. Often, by opening up a channel we offer them more sustenance than we could possibly imagine.

Popularity: 28% [?]

How a Gentleman and a Lady Should Dress for the First Date

First of all you should know where you are planning to go: Are you going to beach, for a walk in park, restaurant, up hills, out of city, long drive? Neutral colors, good accessories and classic styles are consistently comfortable if you don’t know your destination.

Always remember don’t pick a seductive look. Look for posh and intelligent look. Decide what makes you comfortable, pretty to ladies, handsome to gentleman, comfortable and confident. So that your partner should me impressed in first look and wants to meet you every time. As we all know first impression is the last impression.

For Ladies:

1) Choose your colors but black is always outstanding for ladies. A Black dress with nice silver jewelry looks stylish along with black lather shoes. Avoid high heels as it can make you uncomfortable and distract you from your date.

2) Wear light jewelry in hands and ears only.

3) Don’t hide yourself behind a mask so don’t put too much make up on your face.

4) Highlight your eyes and lips makeup that’s it.

For Gentleman:

1) Choose a stylish white color shirt along with black leather shoes. You can opt for full formal by wearing black trouser with it or semi formal by wearing good jeans with it.

2) If you like applying gel on hairs then don’t put it too much, it will give you unnatural look. You can ask your sister or your mom to know about the same.

3) You need to look gorgeous for that day. Remember to impress her on every date, not only on the first date.

Take care of these little things while going on a date first time. These small things can make your date even more comfortable and memorable.

Popularity: 50% [?]

How Men Expressing Themselves?

When dealing with issues within the marriage, I have found that some of us tend to over-react and go on and on and not really get to the point of what’s bothering us. When there is a problem that needs discussed, we may bring up past issues, instead of the issue at hand because we feel resentful. It’s hard for anyone to understand this kind of behavior and it feels like we are being nagged at instead of talked to. This is why some of us avoid issues and confrontations or walk away when the heat kicks up. No one wants to be nagged at or put down. Lack of proper communication never solves the problem. More resentment builds up and walking away and ignoring the issue sounds better and better. But we don’t want this. That is why we need to learn to react in beneficial ways when our spouse upsets us.

When expressing themselves, men have a tendency to shorten things too much and think their wives can read their minds, which of course, isn’t true. Men, if you’re talking to your wives about something, it helps to explain in detail what it is you need her to do. Women like and need more detail. Specify who, what, when, and where and she’ll be happy.

Good talkers are usually good listeners. And good listeners will speak what they mean. They explain things in such a way that the other person understands exactly what it is they are trying to convey. Expressing thoughts and feelings can be hard to do. Especially when we aren’t sure what those thoughts are. We should strive to know what it is we want ourselves before saying something that could invariably bring on distorted thinking and hearing.

Sometimes we hear only what we want to hear and miss out on much of what was really said. We do this in the hopes that we can scamper away from reality so we won’t feel the hurt or pain from what we just heard. Or we actually hear what was said, but forget we ever heard it. This happens subconsciously because we don’t want to accept what the other person is saying and this is where severe communication breakdown in marriage can arise.

The best thing we can do if we do disagree with someone is first try and understand the other persons feelings by validating their opinion if we can, and then state how we feel. Complainers, naggers and disagreeable people have a difficult time listening to what others have to say and usually aren’t good at expressing themselves either.

Popularity: 29% [?]

How To Interact With The Others

Communication is an act of being a good listener and understanding what the other person is trying to say. Communication is a useful tool, in speech and in writing, for conveying information to others in everyday transactions. Anyone can become a skilled communicator and effectively interact with others. For most of us, it’s probably easier to be the talker than the listener. But we should try to really listen to what the other person is saying or at least trying to say, and if we are at all confused at what we are hearing, we need to ask more questions!

We’re not silly or ignorant because we don’t fully understand someone and need to ask more questions. We’re acting silly when we think we already know someone and take that person’s way of thinking and feelings under our own understanding and dissect it into what we want and think it to be. We certainly don’t want to be misinformed, do we? So lets try and understand the other person better.

Some of us don’t know how to convey feelings and thoughts the way we really feel because were afraid of what the other person might think of us. But if we don’t express ourselves and how we feel properly that person will not see us for who we really are. When we interact with others through faulty communication it could be detrimental to the partnership and cause all kinds of confusion.

Expressing our self with anger in marriage can cause our spouse to feel like we don’t love or care about them. It can be very confusing to the spouse who is taking this abuse. When we act out aggression in a negative way, our spouse doesn’t understand what we are trying to convey to them, whether it be a complaint or harbored resentment. It’s okay to express angry feelings, but to do it in a way that is going to actually assist both parties in getting the issue resolved. Accusing and finger pointing doesn’t get feelings and thoughts out appropriately. What does is directing hurt emotions at yourself, instead of at who you are talking to.

Do say, “I feel so angry that you spent our vacation money. We both worked hard at saving those funds.”Don’t say, “You stupid idiot, what is wrong with you, can’t you do anything right?”

Always try to turn the conversation towards self by using phrases like, “I thought,” “I feel,” “I think,” Try not to use finger pointing accusations. This will shut down the listener, and they will scamper away from you.

Popularity: 30% [?]

Communication Skills

There are some easy ways to learn about Communication skills:

Always start with an Intention

Anything we start, including communication skills, usually has reason and a starting point. While we become conscious about this fact for the obvious things like brushing our teeth to avoid tooth decay, we forget to give the same importance to our communication. We start talking, go through all the niceties and then some how stumble upon the reason for conversation or make it up by that time. The problem with this approach is that the message looses its power. If you keep doing this often, you loose the power to bring it to work when needed.

Forget techniques and learn principles

A lot of managers are fond of using something called a Sandwich technique. It is situation where you slip in a negative comment or feedback layered in between two positive comments. It is a good technique no doubt. But if you repeat it to the same old staff for 2 years, it means you are not capable of innovating. People get conditioned to any one particular behavior over time and so the technique looses its impact.

We all develop a favorite way of reacting to situations. We gather these techniques by experience and learning from others. What we eventually have forgotten is that they are just techniques, and are replaceable. Something like software programs which almost always get replaced by a better version. But since it works so well to us, we get possessive about it and find our selves bound by it.

Develop flexibility in language and in approach

Flexibility is also needed in your approach to communication. Developing more than one approach is really good. If your style of approaching women is the Nice Guy, try the cocky and funny approach. See how that works. Please do not measure any new skill by the initial response you get because, all new skills need to be naturalized before it becomes effective. As you develop flexibility, you will find yourself more comfortable to live with and then others will also find you comfortable to be with.

So to be the survivor of the fittest in the field of communication skills, always start with an intention in your mind. Once you master this, your level of influence will increase rapidly. Take away your focus on techniques and learn the principles. This way you tap the source of power itself rather than a branch. The last and most importantly, develop flexibility in your language and approach. It will maximize your audience and thus your power.

Popularity: 28% [?]

Cyber-Sex

If you are suspicious that your spouse or partner is cheating on the Internet, you probably are asking yourself, will it become “real” cheating later? Can my relationship be threatened by a cyber-relationship?
There are several ways to cheat on the Internet and there are several degrees of cheating on the Internet as well.

Cheating on the Internet implies getting in contact with another person or persons through different methods, which are mainly websites or dedicated software made especially for this purpose. It is important to mention that Internet is particularly successful in putting people in contact as it provides a way to interact with less inhibition and more caution when knowing somebody else than the real life.
The initial contact will be usually made by chat or email, which immediately will evolve into a chat conversation too. Once in communication through one of the hundreds of chat software programs available, any kind of information can be exchanged between the two persons like text, images, sound and even live video.

After the initial contact made through any of these resources, people eventually will start chatting. In fact, most of the times the initial contact will be made only to exchange mail or chat addresses. When people start getting acquainted with the other person through those chat conversations, they will start to share their problems, likes and dislikes, getting an enormous amount of sympathy from the other person.

This happens naturally because in our fast world, we have no time to calmly talk with our partners during days, but also because this kind of communication gives us unparallel confidence to speak freely as there is no real contact with the other person. He/she is the ideal receptor letting us to say whatever we want, without questioning it and usually agreeing our point of view.

That sympathy will turn into affection afterwards and if the relationship last for sometime, sooner or later one of the persons will ask the other to meet somewhere to know each other. During this process, a photograph exchange is common and if both have web cameras, they probably will see live images from each other.

A chat conversation is the ideal media to forge intense human relationships (of any kind) and therefore an ideal platform for cheating. It is important to understand that not everyone who chats or even meet in real life is a cheater. Internet is a great and wonderful resource and we all are responsible on how we use it.

Finally, there is another set of people, especially those who live in different towns, which will practice cyber-sex, as natural outcome of what I have been describing above. Cyber-sex usually evolves into phone sex, but the chances of cheating are less probable as they need to travel to meet each other. I don’t need to mention, but I will, that as you probably know, there is a lot of people who actually travel to meet each other as result of first meeting on the Internet.

Popularity: 36% [?]

A Second Chance for Your Partner

If your partner leaves you to have an affair and moves in with someone else this can also be very degrading and make you feel very neglected. However you need to keep your cool at all times and do not let this affair get the better of you. As although the situation may seem to be all roses, it is early days and time will tell if things are going to work out or not.

Unfortunately some people think that to survive an affair means playing the same game as their partner and this can have a detrimental effect and can be very dangerous indeed as even more people can become hurt and get dragged into unhealthy situations. It is no good fighting fire with fire and will only lead to an eruption of emotions for everyone involved.

After many weeks or even months usually the partner that has had an affair seems to see the light at the end of the tunnel as the grass does not seem to be greener on the other side of the field. This is when you need to be at your strongest as once your partner has admitted that they were wrong to have had an affair and regrets doing so you then have to reconsider the situation and try to decide if you are going to forgive your partner or not.

There are many things to think about. Do you want your partner back? Can you trust your partner again? Will your partner stray again? Will you feel the same emotions towards your partner as you did in the past? Once you have been through surviving an affair you may not be able to forgive your partner as they may have hurt you so much that you could not bear possibly being in the same situation again. On the other hand, you may be willing to give your relationship another try and accept your partner back. Whatever you decide to do will obviously have to be in both your best interests. You will need to discuss the past and present and come to a final decision as to what would be best for both of you. You never know, thinks may even work out better for both of you and may even bring you both even closer together in your relationship than before. Remember, you survived an affair so take care but also be aware and hopefully you’ll get there.

Popularity: 33% [?]

Affair

People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They could have become disappointed with their marriage expectations which may have been too high to fulfil or they may simply want to carry on having an open relationship as they have in their past.

It can be relatively easy to have an affair if you are out working all day as you can make excuses for leaving for work early and returning home late. Even at the office your paths may meet several times a day and at lunchtime you are free to go where you please with whom you please.

Some men think that it is macho to have an affair and to them it is second nature. They sometimes set themselves a goal to achieve. Some like to have a different girl on their arm every night others are more discreet and just meet at weekends. Women too have affairs and may often use the excuse for shopping to escape to have an affair.

An affair can be dangerous and needs to be carefully thought through as you will get noticed in pubs, clubs, restaurants and the like especially if you met somewhere locally. Another dangerous liaison is at parties when you think that everyone may be pre-occupied chatting and dancing. You may possibly meet someone new and wish to see them in private. Often this can lead to the bedroom which, although may have seemed to have been a good idea at the time, can have a disastrous effect as you could be missed by others at the party and then found quite by accident leaving a bedroom with someone. Gossip travels fast at a social event and you need to be well aware of who may talk and who may listen.

Affairs are usually short lived and burn out soon after the flame has been lit. Many people who have affairs return to their original partner and expect to be forgiven for straying. This may be acceptable for some but there would always be an element of doubt as to when the situation may arise again. Should you be contemplating having an affair then think twice as you could end up losing everything, marriage, family, even friends. An affair is a very dangerous game and should never be taken too lightly, for fun or even to get back at somebody. It nay not just be your life you destroy but also that of the person to whom you have the affair. Once an affair has taken place you may never be trusted again and never be able to return to your previous relationship. Affairs are very costly both from a personal point of view and a financial one.

Popularity: 33% [?]

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